3,963 BBY
*So, this is an outlier in the KOTOR series. It’s a short story meant to tie in with the comic series. It was originally a Hyperspace deal. Since Hyperspace went under, some of the material hasn’t resurfaced, but, luckily this one has. You can read it legally and for free at the link above.
*This story is told in the first person from the perspective of Gryph, so this has potential. Anyway, our merry band of misfits are on Ralltiir because, essentially, Ralltiir is filled with idiots: “The blaster with the reversible handle came from Ralltiir. The sing-along hologram craze started on Ralltiir. I rest my case.”
*So, Gryph is planning to sell some “statuary” to a museum, the Obohn Gallery of the Industrial Aesthetic, which is run by a Muun named Dremullar Obohn di Garthos and his partner, a fat Rodian in a hoverchair.
*I see sitcom potential here.
*Miller just has a wonderful ear for turns of phrase. “Obohn sniffed, which is the only word for it despite the fact that I had 100% of the nose in the conversation.”
*Great conversations in con-artistry: “You’ve heard of Adnah Tiblarett?” “Tiblarett?” “Tiblarett.” “Never heard of her.” “A moment, master! Sorry – blast my poor Cadomai accent! I didn’t mean Tiblarett. I meant . . . uhhh . . .” “Teronto?” “No.” “T’gronish?” “No . . .” “Not Tikartine?” “Is she any good?” “He.” “Is he any good?” “Any good? I should say so! If you have work by Ineas Tikartine . . .” “That’s the one then.”
*It’s interesting. Gryph is a very Han Solo-ish character in that he seems to actually not be all that good at what he does, he’s just incredibly lucky. I mean, that was the worst con-job in the history of con-jobs but it worked.
*Obohn isn’t quite as big an idiot as he might seem however. He notices that Zayne . . . well, looks like Zayne Carrick. And then he recalls that Carrick reportedly has a Snivvian accomplice.
*Gryph attempts to spin a tale: “’Young Wervis here has been helping me since I adopted him. I freed the lad from a life of slave labor in a factory, skinning borrats.’ Summon teardrop, one (1). ‘To tell you the truth, I’m like a father to him.”
*Summon teardrop, one (1). No one but Miller.
*Anyway, Gryph just has some scrap metal that he’s pawning off as avant-garde sculpture by this Tikartine guy and he has to convince Zayne to mind-trick the fat Rodian into believing that the huge pile of metal is in fact great art.
*But then Obohn tries to blackmail them into just leaving the “art” without paying them for it by threatening to call the police. THEN Camper arrives, angry that Gryph hauled away a bunch of scrap metal without asking permission.
*So, things seem completely out of control when Obohn gives us a classic Miller twist: “You don’t fool me. I know who you really are! And I know who that was. You are thieves – and that man was Ineas Tikartine! That man you shoved out of here – I heard part of what he said. Those are his works – you two stole them!” So, now Obohn is totally convinced and, in fact, now that he has a great story to tell about his brush with the famous Ineas Tikartine, he pays Gryph and Zayne double what they were asking.
*So, yeah, this was a fun little interlude. It doesn’t add anything to the on-going story of the series or anything. It’s basically an opportunity to have a fun little lark with the characters we know and love. For me, given just how much I do love Gryph & Zayne, that’s enough. Plus, it’s short. And free which Gryph would approve of.
*CANONICAL STATUS: This work is of exceptional accuracy and is RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.
*Recommended. 3 ½ stars.
John Jackson Miller
*Next time, back to the comics; join me for Days of Fear.