*So, we’ll go ahead and make some real time now. We’re going to wrap up the Tales of the Jedi Companion and also finish out the current year.
*Chapter Six is all about Neutrals: criminals, droids, explorers, etc. Basically anyone who isn’t a Jedi or a Sith.
*The chapter includes sample profiles of people like Minister of Defense Netius and Grimorg, a Weequay thug employed by Bogga the Hutt.
*God, there’s ol’ Finhead Stonebone again. His profile tells us that this name is an alias. NO KIDDING?!
*Chapter Seven is about Species and it traffics in some of the most unbelievable racism imaginable.
*There’s a drawing here and the caption is: “A Vultan scout searches the horizon for evidence of native life.” Funny thing is . . . it’s an absolute rip off of Luke’s famous binary sunset pose from ANH.
*So, there’s a section here on Miraluka, Nazzar, Vultan and Zexx.
*Here’s a great detail: “Vultans are generally curious and friendly, although some have been known to possess a relentlessly competitive nature. They are fascinated by devices they have not before encountered, and are often willing to part with a great deal to be the first Vultan to obtain a given piece of technology.”
*So, Vultans basically = those nuts standing out in a freezing sleet storm all night so they can be first in line when the Apple store opens the next morning.
*Why, no, I don’t have an iPad yet, why do you ask?
*Chapter Eight is about Creatures. You know, Boma Beasts, Colossus Wasps, Gorm-Worms, Hssiss, Neeks . . .
*Essentially, this is the chapter you want to skip if you’re trying to convince a friend that Star Wars has literary merit.
*Hssiss. I mean, good Lord.
*Also, why would anything as big as a Colossus Wasp have evolved a frigging stinger in the first place?
*Okay, whatever . . . Chapter Nine: Vehicles and Starships.
*There’s a whole page dedicated to all the different manufacturers of starships. Complete with their logos. Akin-Dower actually has a pretty great logo.
*So, we get complete profiles on all the ships used in the TotJ series. This is really interesting. Let’s move on, shall we?
*Chapter Ten is Technology in which we spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Dehydrated Food Packs, Breath Masks and all kinds of other bizarre things.
*Chapter Eleven is Sites.
*Ood Bnar gives some really wise advice: “As a Jedi, you may be appointed the guardian of a system or planet . . . you must come to know the system as well as you know yourself. If not, your efforts will be wasted. You cannot wait to begin your study of the system – yes, I know, you have not yet been commissioned. So how are you to know which system to research? The answer is simple: study them all . . .”
*Okay, Master Ood, this kind of sounds like one of those snipe hunt things people are always talking about.
*So, let’s get this straight. You want me to do in-depth research on every planet and system in the galaxy? And you want me to do this so I won’t waste any time?!? Are you high on something?
*So, we are told that the Sith library on Arkania covered more than five square kilometers on the surface and went down underground for ‘countless levels,’ eventually becoming so large and labyrinthine that even the most experienced Sith Lords couldn’t locate anything.
*Okay, so I know it’s a Sith library, but still . . . Most. Awesome. Library. Ever.
*I actually kind of want to write a fanfic set entirely in that library.
*Then, finally, comes Chapter Twelve, Running a Tales of the Jedi Campaign. It’s kind of hard to read this as in-universe text, I must say.
*So, this is basically a sort of pragmatic how-to guide, with guidelines on structuring a campaign, what’s allowed, what isn’t, all that sort of thing.
*And that’s about all of that.
*I really found little of interest here. I don’t know why I read this.
*CANONICAL STATUS: While certain information found here may have its basis in reality, the document remains a patchwork of facts and misinformation. This work is NOT RECOMMENDED as a historical resource.
*Warned against. 1 star.
George R. Strayton
*I never thought I’d say this, but after this book, I’ll be glad to get back to the TotJ comics. Next time, we’ll move into 3,997 BBY with Tales of the Jedi: Dark Lords of the Sith.